I'm A Gambling Addict

I'm a Gambling Addict , starting in Victoria on card machine's in 83 . It's not active now , tho will always be there. I no longer wake up in cold sweat's, on pay day, or, feel sick in the stomach , like when I first began to stop. They're thankfully, just like any other day now.

Though , as I wrote on the self exclusion letters to various Clubs, I will be an addict till i take my last breath . I gambled last, in January, and then few months ago .

The ten odd years of attending GA did nothing for me , that program modified from the AA 12 step, takes the last bit of hope from you , telling u to admit ur powerless. "Have some tea and bickies, (it was often the only thing I would eat on the day ), now get out there be a good little gambler and see u next week."

My son was born nearly 15 yrs ago , his arrival really through a spanner in the works , as far as my GAMBLING was concerned . I realised I had to do something that had a chance of getting me off this cracked record. I went off to TAFE to study, the Assoc Diploma of Social Sciences. I got over half way through. Did enough to find out what started, keeps it going, finally then to stop it. I was /am running on a Negative Belief and Value system.

From dysfunctional childhood, being diagnosed with Epilepsy at 18, I was, in fact, Gambling to lose. You would reckon, I would pick up on the fact that I never won. Even when I did win, I would just keep playing till I've given it all back . Had many a seizure as result of a royal flush or alike.

For more than a decade , I could nor laugh or cry , I can recall having sore muscle's on my face from laughing, from not laughing for all those years , now , can cry from watching a soppy old black and white movie, even from watching the show about Shintaro last night for example .

I've only recently discovered, emotions that as I'm sure ur aware have no "normal" place to be at, with an ADDICTION, more concerning if Fathering is thrown into the equation. Positive Affirmations kept me on the bus and to be present at the assoc dip lectures, most valuable indeed for beginning by trek down the path to recovery .

Anyway sorry for going on so much, finally just wanted to say regarding luring kids to Gambling. I also have a 10 year old daughter , and she used to play a maths game called Mathletics , she was told about it from her school , who gave her a log on number to play. The thing is I've watched her when she used to play , and when they WIN it sounds a BELL** identical to that on the CLEOPATRA SLOT MACHINE'S, when you would get the three pyramids and the 15 free spins. The kids will be in the Clubs when they're grown up, will hear the same ringing sounds that will take them back to being a child, playing mathletics , and wander in and become Addicted and Destroy their lives.